AOCM

Changes of circumstances and other personal circumstances

Pregnancy and children – At one AOCM meeting we started praying for ordinands who had just had children…. the prayers went on for a surprisingly long time! Having a child whilst at theological college is not an unheard of event. Ensure that you tell all relevant parties eg Ministry Division, college, tutors so that appropriate support can be accessed. Check the provisions about financial support for families and claims for child benefit etc. You may also be entitled to a maternity payment.

Bereavement – is also a common occurrence among ordinands. As there are other forms of bereavement associated with formation eg leaving a former career, a home, etc the death of someone close can take on an added intensity. Again however there is support and colleges and DDOs are used to helping ordinands access counselling or other forms of specialist support if needed. Don’t be afraid to ask.

An illness or accident or consequent disability need not be the end of training and is certainly not the end of your vocation! Medical and other information may be needed so that any adjustments can be made and support provided, but support can be provided. You may well find that as you are amongst a group of people training to minister they are only too happy to practice their pastoral skills!

Dependents – Most colleges are now used to having children around and are more sensitive than used to be the case to the need for schools, crèches and other necessary social supports, including some flexibility for both partner and ordinand.

Pets – most institutions can accommodate pets by some means or another but it is as well to check out precisely what accommodation is available and how that will impact on other aspects of your training, like timetable and where you will be living in relation to other ordinands, particularly for those who are single pet owners.

Older children – Parents with older children, particularly parents who may be single, are not well-catered for… however provision can be made for accommodation that allows space for children of university age to come back and stay with parents over the vacation. Do not be afraid to ask for the accommodation you and your family need, even older family.

Getting engaged… First of all congratulations but remember… whilst for most people this is an entirely private matter, between you, God and your potential spouse… and maybe family and friends… it is also something you need to tell your DDO/Diocese… it makes a difference as it is a change of status in law and obviously has practical implications for posting etc… particularly if your intended is also an ordinand…

Divorce – this also needs to be carefully discussed with your DDO as it carries significant implications for ordination. Actually divorce itself is not the problem (not for ordination anyway); however, if you are divorced and wish to remarry OR the person you want to marry has been divorce… you will not be able to get ordained within 3 years of such a marriage. Divorce need not be a barrier to remarriage* or ordination but it does need to be thought through carefully.

*subject to your personal theology/church tradition on the issue….